It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
