If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
