I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
