Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
