Sry I called you an 8
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
