is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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