She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
