just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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