Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
