Please, let me fuck your mom
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
