How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think my moral compass just broke
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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