i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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