she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
