the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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