if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
