Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
