You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
