U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
