you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
