It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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