Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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