the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
