it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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