i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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