are you still at the devil's house?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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