Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
