I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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