You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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