And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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