What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
