I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
