it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
