Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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