How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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