we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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