i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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