isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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