She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
