normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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