If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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