So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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