im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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