Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You've changed since you got that strap on
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
