I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
