matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
