I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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