sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
