Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
A+ Viking dick
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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