Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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