Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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