the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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