Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
