one might say we're banned from that church
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
