he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
