well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
